Have you ever observed your single, child-less friends? From a brief glance, you’ll notice they splurge happily on the latest trends; they can often be found working out at the gym or stretching at a weekly Pilates class; and they have time to relax over a glass of Chablis with colleagues. Delve deeper and you’ll find painfully high stilettos, a fabulous little black dress and matching lacy underwear all ready for that just-in-case, last minute night out with the girls.

Contrast this with your life. As a busy mum, you’re no doubt wearing Marks & Spencer’s safest white knickers under your uniform of jeans and a sweater, which probably has a slimy trail on the sleeve left by your child. Your last night out was to the school PTA meeting and, if you were lucky on Saturday evening, you may have sipped the best tipple your corner shop had to offer. The most fun you had with the bed sheets was when your partner offered to make the bed for you!

Sound familiar? As a mother and wife, it is very easy for us to dismiss the ‘single life’ as a frivolous and lonely way to live. However, re-introducing some of the fun things you enjoyed doing as a single woman might help to strengthen the relationships you have with your family. If you believe you don’t get a second to yourself and your relationships have become ordinary and routine, now is the time to kick-start the quest to rediscover the real you!

Identify those activities you enjoyed doing before you had children – or even before you were married or settled down with your partner. We’re not talking about late night clubbing, binge drinking and trying to catch the eye of a 20-something alpha-male, but identifying those simple pleasures that made you feel good about yourself when you had too much time on your hands!

Taking time out to catch up with friends on a Saturday morning or going with them to see the latest chick-flick once in a while might give you the lift you need. An afternoon’s shopping on your own and the results of purchasing a matching lingerie set might lead to more excitement than pairing socks in front of the latest ITV drama.

Taking advantage of ‘me time’ should be a compulsory chapter of the Good Mother’s Handbook. Not only will it give you time to recharge your batteries, catch up with friends and talk about something other than the reading ages of your children, it will give you self-generated happiness, which will in turn empower you to take control of your life’s direction.

Having interests and hobbies that are separate to the rest of your family does not make you an irresponsible mother. On the contrary, it will re-kindle your sparkle, make you more fun and give you something to talk about with your partner. Introducing elements of what your single friends enjoy into your life will nurture your femininity. It will give you a sense of purpose by re-igniting your sense of individuality.